Recognizing Over-Explaining As A Trauma Response: A Guide for Managers and Supervisors

Why Businesses Need "Over Explainers" As Employees

Right now - you may have someone on your team that is an over explainer, who gives all the names and minute details of every story and answer they provide.

Over-explaining is often seen as a weakness—wasting time, signaling insecurity, or lacking decisiveness. But what if I told you that the employees who over-explain have the potential to be your highest performers, your most detail-oriented thinkers, and your most dedicated team members? Instead of dismissing this behavior as a flaw, leaders should recognize the incredible value these individuals bring to the workplace and learn how to harness their potential for greater success.

As a manager, fostering a productive and collaborative work environment while supporting employee well-being is essential. However, some behaviors may signal deeper issues. One such behavior is over-explaining—when employees feel the need to justify their actions or decisions excessively. Over-explaining is often a trauma or fawning response, a survival mechanism stemming from past experiences of feeling unsafe or insecure.

What Is Over-Explaining as a Trauma Response?

Over-explaining can stem from a trauma or fawning response, defined by trauma expert Pete Walker as people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict and gain approval. Employees who over-explain may:

• Fear judgment or rejection

• Strive to prove their worth

• Seek validation from authority figures

• Feel insecure in their decisions

• Have been criticized or punished for mistakes

Over-explaining might look like providing long, unnecessary explanations or second-guessing oneself in front of others.

How to Recognize Over-Explaining as a Trauma Response

Signs that over-explaining may be linked to trauma include:

• Chronic Justification: Explaining decisions long after they've been made.

• Defensiveness: Providing excessive justifications for minor questions.

• Insecurity: Frequently seeking validation for decisions.

• Overthinking: Offering unnecessary details and acknowledging non-issues.

• Difficulty Making Decisions: Struggling with self-trust and needing to justify decisions.

  
  

How to Support Employees Struggling with Over-Explaining

As a manager, it’s essential to create an environment where employees feel safe, secure, and confident. Here are strategies to help:

1. Create a Safe EnvironmentFoster psychological safety where employees feel comfortable making mistakes. Reinforce that errors are learning opportunities, not punishments.

2. Acknowledge and ValidateReassure employees by acknowledging their concerns. For example: "I trust your judgment, and you don’t need to explain everything in detail."

3. Provide Clear ExpectationsClearly communicate what is expected in terms of decisions and performance. This gives employees the confidence to act without excessive justification.

4. Provide Positive ReinforcementPraise employees who confidently make decisions without over-explaining. Reinforce the behavior you want to see.

5. Encourage Self-ReflectionAsk employees to reflect on their communication style. Encourage questions like: “Do you think you needed to explain everything?” or “What would help you feel more confident in your decision-making?”

6. Encourage Professional DevelopmentOffer resources or workshops to improve communication and decision-making skills.

   
   

Option: Hire an Executive Coach

For tailored support, an executive coach can work with both the employee and the manager. Coaching can address the root causes of over-explaining and can help employees:

• Build confidence in their decision-making

• Manage trauma responses

• Strengthen emotional resilience

• Become more productive, effective and manage time better

Coaching also benefits managers by developing leadership skills that create a supportive environment where employees feel confident and empowered.

Conclusion

Over-explaining can signal deeper insecurity often linked to past trauma. By recognizing this behavior and offering support, managers can help employees regain confidence and thrive in their roles. With strategies that create safety and development opportunities, employees can become their best selves—resulting in a more productive and confident team, greater employee retention and lower turnover.

For more specialized support, an executive coach can provide guidance to help both the employee and manager navigate and overcome these challenges.

Final Thoughts: Why Businesses Need These Employees

Over-explaining is a sign of trauma, but it isn’t a flaw—it’s also a sign of intelligence, ownership, and deep engagement. These employees bring value that organizations cannot afford to overlook. By providing them with the right support, leadership, and coaching, companies can transform their most detail-oriented thinkers into their strongest leaders and top performers who drive tangible results and positively impact the bottom line.