The experiences we have as children can affect our adult years. This is true for childhood trauma, which includes ongoing negative experiences during our early years. You might not even be aware of how these experiences shape your adult life.
Traumatic events for children can include physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, as well as neglect in different forms. It can also come from long-term illnesses, hospital stays, accidents, painful experiences, tough divorces, domestic violence, family substance abuse, losing loved ones, natural disasters, bullying, and violence.
Childhood trauma is more common than many realize. In fact, over seventy percent of adults in the U.S. have experienced some form of it, and I am part of that statistic.
My upbringing was marked by loss, profound sadness, and pain, From significant traumatic experiences. As a young child I witnessed severe domestic violence at the hands of my alcoholic father, who would often abuse my mother both physically and verbally, forcing us to seek safety in the middle of the night.
I lost my father through addiction, abandonment, divorce, and ultimately his early death from cancer. Tragically, my older brother, who was twelve years my senior, died in a car accident and because of this, my mother was emotionally absent, deeply depressed, and suffered from severe anxiety.
As an adult I learned that If childhood trauma goes unresolved, it can impact all kinds of relationships, including those with coworkers, clients, and bosses. It can hinder career advancement and finances.
Childhood trauma can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder , or complex PTSD (CPTSD) which has long-lasting effects like emotional dysregulation. It is also associated with higher rates of chronic physical and mental health issues in adults. (More to come on this in Part 2.)
CPTSD affects adults physically, neurologically, emotionally, and behaviorally. It is not merely psychological pain from the past. Instead, it starts with neurological changes in the brain that occur due to abuse, neglect, and other early life challenges. Neural pathways connect differently due to the consistent childhood trauma.
These changes disrupt brain function, which then affects the entire nervous system. The nervous system regulates all bodily functions, including the immune system, hormonal balance, attention and learning abilities, stress management, and the ability to form connections with others.
When we are calm, our brain works steadily, leading to balanced body responses and emotions which in turn leads to greater productivity, life-work harmony, empathy, confidence and well-being.
When our brain and nervous system is dysregulated, our thoughts and actions can become unpredictable. We may suddenly feel panic or sadness, or our emotions might surge, triggering a rush of adrenaline and the fight or flight response.
We could also feel awkward, forgetful, and disorganized. In these moments, it can be tough to see reality clearly. We might perceive threats (physical or in our career) when we are safe or feel secure in dangerous situations. This could lead to mistakes like driving away with the gas nozzle still attached, mistaking a casual encounter for true love, or believing that your job isn’t safe or that you aren’t doing enough.
Self sabotage, panic attacks, burnout, fatigue, low motivation, low engagement and absenteeism become prevalent. And just when we need to make wise choices, our judgment can fail, leading us to repeat the same mistakes over and over again - in our personal and professional lives.
CPTSD can cause:
Emotional outbursts
Fearing the worst without an obvious cause
Feeling overwhelmed in crowded or noisy places
Overreacting to stimuli or to those around you, compared with what’s usual for you
Persistent worry
Hyperekplexia, intense startle response.
Taking things personally
Focusing intently on people’s expressions or tone of voice
Friction in relationships at home, work, or school
🔹 = Specific to the workplace
🔹 Avoidance Tactics: Dodging projects that resemble past triggers, limiting our growth and potential for greatness.
🔹 Imposter Syndrome: The nagging voice whispering doubt, questioning our worthiness to stand tall among our peers.
🔹 Conflict Aversion: Fear of confrontation, sacrificing authentic communication for a facade of harmony.
🔹 Perfectionism Paralysis: Striving for flawlessness, while suffocating the creativity that thrives on trial and error.
🔹 Hypervigilance, a biological adaptation to stress. Always alert, scanning for threats that no longer exist, draining precious energy that could fuel innovation.
CPTSD impairs our ability to:
Build bonds in relationships. You may be afraid to trust anyone fully, or feel that you don’t belong or are different from others.
Express or regulate your emotions. You may have difficulty saying what you’re thinking without emotional outburst or fear of an adverse reaction.
Respond to authority figures. You may have an intense dislike or mistrust of authority figures, including managers and supervisors.
Handle stressful situations. You may become more easily overwhelmed in times of stress or have lower tolerance to frustration.
Behave socially. You may avoid certain types of social events, meetings or speaking with certain people.
Perform at school or work. You may be absent-minded or unable to focus clearly.
Envision your future success. You may doubt you have the ability to go far in life.
Shame from trauma can cause us to overcompensate and conceal perceived imperfections and vulnerabilities.
When we become dysregulated, it can take hours or even days for our brains to return to a normal state. Some people may be dysregulated for years even. We might use some strategies that only partially help, like overeating carbs, smoking, drinking, or using drugs - self medicating.
We may also seek adrenaline through risky actions like reckless driving, engaging in casual sex, overspending, getting into arguments, or job jumping.
During these dysregulated times, we struggle to be present, productive, responsible, and connected with others. This also makes us more vulnerable to re-traumatization.
If not addressed, dysregulation can severely impact our health, immune system, mood, and our ability to remember, and relax.
What are some signs that you might be dysregulated?
You may feel disconnected, struggle to find words, or forget where you are. You might feel overwhelmed, trying to juggle many tasks but completing none. You could be clumsy, dropping or losing things. Your voice may sound flat, or you might feel angry or an urgent need to express your feelings. You may also experience numbness in parts of your body.
Dysregulation often arises from intense emotions, leading to negative impulses that we think will help but actually result in self-destructive behaviors. Childhood PTSD can cause significant damage in your life through these behaviors.
Despite these behaviors many childhood trauma survivors are extremely driven, professional, award winning, successful, over achieving, and suffer from imposter syndrome even though their academic and professional track records speak for themselves.
Their trauma caused people to want to be the best, to be seen, heard, perfect - so they grew into high performing, hyper independent, overachieving, people pleasing, perfectionist, and award winning, successful business professionals. When their employers, leaders and managers do not support, recognize their efforts or truly attempt to understand how loyal they are will lose them to their competition.
The good news is that healing is possible. I and many of my clients are proof of this. I have coached many Leaders on how to support their employees and have assisted many others to become re-regualted and have harmony in their career and leadership development journey.
Trauma won't disappear by itself. It shouldn’t be used as a crutch or an excuse to not take responsibility. You need to take steps to overcome the trauma that may be limiting you.
You can heal, overcome the challenges and behaviors that come with childhood trauma, for healthier, trusting relationships, a flourishing career and peace of mind.
Leaders who use empathetic leadership to support employees with CPTSD report higher levels of employee happiness, engagement, and job performance.
A safe psychological environment fosters teamwork, communication, and overall job satisfaction among teams. When leaders adopt a trauma-informed approach, they help employees grow personally and professionally, enhancing resilience and productivity throughout the organization. Employers can even retain their talent and lower health care expenses.
What emotions and impulses related to dysregulation have you noticed in your employees or are affecting your life, health, relationships, and career due to CPTSD?
Are you willing to talk about this more? Let’s have a discussion.
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